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Right now it means that even if I try extremely hard to lose weight, I can hardly lose any. Though I wish it didn't, it even sounds embarrassing to me! If I can first convince myself to further stop the stigma, million matchmaker dating rules maybe can I convince others to do the same.
While I hold immense privilege, the characteristics I listed above are not privileged characteristics, especially if possessed by a woman. And I have never explicitly asked someone out in person. Some day you will find potential partners who are attracted to you. Probably not super likely. They are approached by potential partners regularly in their daily lives.
But even though it's low risk, I'd argue that it is a way that I am challenging societal gender norms that say that as a woman, I should be waiting around for some man to sweep me off my feet. There are certain things you can't hide.
She's right, and that is pretty awesome. May we all find romance if we want it through whatever medium we desire, free of society's judgement. But OkCupid has this funny way of bringing people together who may not have found each other attractive if they saw each other out on the street.
Instead, I'll share my reflections on the particular situation and on the greater issues it exposed for me. Joining the crazy world of OkCupid has been scary, uncomfortable, and sometimes unpleasant at times, but it has allowed me to take control of my romantic life. Through what other medium is it so easy for a woman to ask a man out without often being perceived as too assertive, as too bold? However, I am not just sitting around waiting.
For me, the one characteristic about myself that I wish I could change is my body's size. If you meet me in person, you may think, who is that short stocky girl with poofy hair? And what does organic mean anyway? Do not put yourself at risk.
But it doesn't have to be that way. Of course, looks are some of the first characteristics that people judge each other's profiles for. For women who are interested in men, gender norms dictate that men should be asking us out, that they should be in control of our romantic destiny.
You are beautiful and amazing. What does it mean, especially as a woman, to walk through your life each day essentially never feeling validated by those you are attracted to? And how cool is it that I get to meet so many people that I would have probably never known existed if not for meeting them on the Internet?
Everyone is talking about how funny it is, but not as many people are talking about how it has revolutionized the way humans find romantic connection. As I'm reflecting on it now, it still feels unsettling to me. She is thin, has clear skin, and straight hair. For me, it feels very low risk to send bold and daring messages out to men in the OkCupid universe. That takes guts, and even I have not dared to be that bold.
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